Update

Let's talk career. What am I doing? What the hell does my future show that I dash toward it?

Let's look at what I have. What's right now? I'm going to an in-state university where I major in Political Science and minor in English Creative Writing and French, have a GPA of 2.5, am in my 4th year, and am planning to Study Abroad. If I end up going to grad school, I might invest in an International Relations career. Then again, either of my minors might pull my interest, and I'll then have to pursue them further. I don't know.

My memory's not that great, nor is my comprehension speed. It's really my stubborn drive or pure chance that gets me any academic success, and woe the day where I get neither! Plus, my vision is pretty close to shit, considering my double vision and the strength of eyes that slowly die as days go by. Reading doesn't go as fast as years ago when I used to take an entire basket to fill at the library, but I'll try to select reading obligations wisely. 

Now imagine me years later as I actually try to get a job. What would I be able to do with near-blindness and lack of balance/coordination? Technically, I could do simple duties like being a desk attendant. Or maybe I'll…

I think I'm screwed. But hey, I don't know the future. This is what life is about, running and hoping. Maybe my body will hold together long enough for me to do something useful.

Hope is the quintessential basis of art.

On the subject of art, I declare that art (the abbreviation of 'artifice') is the proof that everyone is really an agnostic, no matter the degree to which they deny this. But a lot of us do deny this, so help me God.

Oh

Damn, I had this, huh? So here I am, sitting with my dogs, in Phoenix, plane tickets to Switzerland bought. Why there? I'm studying abroad there for the Spring - and they start later over there. I never mentioned it before on this blog: I am studying French and English there. I've pretty much worked everything with the school, and wait. And wait.

Eh?

Damn, too long of an absence. I'm in Atlanta, GA, sitting on an extraneous (I think) bed of my aunt's house. Downstairs, they (my mom, brother, maternal aunt + hubbie + 2 cute daughters, paternal aunt + hubbie) are watching bootlegged copies of The Warrior's Way and Harry Potter 7 pt 1. But holy shit, the quality is nauseatingly horrendous. No fucking way I'm doing that to my cinematic consumption.

15 minutes later

They turned it off for the fact that no one was really watching. I think I'll go down.

Insight

I think that life is about having things you have for sure (perception, thought, etc.) and striving for the things you might get. If you don't get them, you don't get them. But the things you do get don't mean anything other than that you had them once. And who the hell cares that you did? Just keep on living.

The Eater

I am here.

Here in this little universe of mine, I stand to assess whatever happens to give me reason to exist. I live to be hungry.

And lo, I eat. And I eat. And I am hungry again.

I am a mouth, standing here with teeth open wide, pointing at a wider plate of a world. But I am only here, never there. So I eat.

One day, I ate something distasteful. It was an artificial pill, and it was interesting. For a moment, I forgot that I was standing here, and my teeth ground to a close. I wasn't even standing there. I just - forgot. But now I remember, and I eat with gusto.